I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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