I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
