I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
