ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
