Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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