...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There r osticjed everywhere
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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