If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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