would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
