I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
