It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
