I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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