someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
