yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
