I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
