just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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