I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
