how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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