sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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