So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
