conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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