I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
