He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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