I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
