My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
