Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
