she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize