I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
