so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
