So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
