Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
