I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
