I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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