this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
