I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize