I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
