I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
