dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Couch. On fire.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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