im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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