Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
