Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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