John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
