Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
