I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're using joints as your birthday candles
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
