Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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