Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize