so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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