Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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