I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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