If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She even gives head with a lisp.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
