I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
