Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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