i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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