grandma shit on top of the toilet
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
