I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
