Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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