Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
