Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
