Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
