All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
