Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
