Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
