Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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