I hope mine doesn't look like that
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
