After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
