Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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