READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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