Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
