that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
