So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
