He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
