Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
