You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
