Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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