do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
