Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
