You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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