Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
