Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
