Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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