Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
