some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
