This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
