the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
