i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
