I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize