Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
