Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
