I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
