Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
