I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
