How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
