New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
